So this is not a joke to tell but something I actually did as a joke. . .
My last relationship was with a guy I've known since I was 13, I'm 38 so we were pretty close. If needed Id yell at him from time to time to get me toilet paper if I failed to notice there was not any after sitting down.
So one day I had put chocolate pudding mixed with mud all over my hands and arms ... Talking All 4 snack packs. So when he came to the door and reached in to hand me the toilet paper I grabbed all over his arms and hands smearing all that smuddin on him. Needless to say he dropped the toilet paper and ran off screaming like a girl.
It was pretty funny shit.